Iskandar Dzulkarnain | January 21, 2014
The writes takes a satirical look into the impact of price hikes and Umno's efforts to ease the burden of the poor
Umno has been around for over 60 years. And in that time it has transformed Malaysia from being a backwater cowboy town to an ultra modern country with super highways and gleaming sky scrapers.
Helmed by the best Malay minds of the century like Najib Tun Razak and Muhyiddin Yassin, and independents like Ibrahim Ali and Zul Noordin, there is so much going for this wonderful country and its citizens.
If not for an increasing opposition voice that is dead-set on negating all the good that BN has done for the nation, Malaysia would have reached its zenith in prosperity by now.
Jealous politicians have been trying very hard to run down the party with all kinds of ridiculous accusations like corruption, racism and/or dictatorship – which is so untrue.
Malaysia is respected by the whole world as a democratic nation with an excellent human rights record and it has retained its image of being a moderate, stable and a race and religious-friendly nation.
Umno and Najib have never ever practised populist policies, which is why they remain so popular. However, Umno has always been there for the Malays since time immemorial, and the Malays would always be there for Umno.
Malays who support Umno are all Sunni Muslims while the religious credentials of other Muslims like Mohamad Sabu who opposes Umno are highly suspect.
The reason that Umno thrived while most of the other component parties like MCA and MIC have crumbled and disintegrated is because Umno has always been there for the Malays.
The NEP, NEM and the Bumiputera Transformation Policy are fine examples of how Umno has strived to uplift the bumiputeras.
Not only economically but Umno has imposed a strict Muslim code and lifestyle for all Malays to behave, that’s why the Malays and the bumiputeras should never forsake Umno.
The Malays know too, that despite all the false accusations levelled against Umno, they will always support Umno because it purports to champion race, religion and royalty.
Unavoidable price hikes
Entering into the 21st century is a wild, frustrating and fearful journey for the Malaysian government, that’s why Umno has to put in place security laws to prevent the country from toppling over and falling flat on itself.
Other than reining in the deviants from the Syiah community, it intends to impose favourable price hikes to rein in the country’s debt.
If not for BN losing its two thirds majority in the last two elections, Umno and BN would have led Malaysia to become a rich and prosperous nation.
With so much opposition to BN’s transformation policies, BN can hardly implement its policies to enrich the people, and many of its policies are now doomed to failure like the Cowgate scandal.
Besides it is hard to blame the Malays for their predicament if they do not want to take advantage of the NEP, that’s why the BR1M will come in handy in the foreseeable future.
To ease the burden of the poor, BR1M can be increased to RM1,200 by 2015 when the price hikes has taken effect. This amount, if approve,d would not only tide over the effects of the price hikes but leaving enough for one to spend on much deserved luxuries.
Too much opposition has prevented the Home Ministry, the police and the Attorney General from implementing policies that will benefit the nation and to the smooth implementation of the GST, AES, toll, assessment rates, license fees and petrol hikes that will benefit the people in the long run.
A sincere government
All of Umno’s noble efforts to unite the races and the nation have been derailed by a strong opposition bent on promoting disunity. That’s why it is so sad to see that Malaysians do not trust each other anymore and many have abandoned the MCA and the MIC.
Luckily, BN managed to win again with a comfortable minority and to continue the unavoidable price hikes so that Malaysia will continue to be a rich country with ample funds for development.
If the opposition had taken over and implemented price reductions, the country would have been reduced to a poor one without any hope.
Malaysians must get used to the fact that prices will rise, so we have to grit our teeth and tighten our belts. Even our First Lady is using the government jet to fly for free instead of having to fork out extra money to fly economy class on MAS.
Besides, Malaysia is a small country with many enemies from our giant neighbours, ready to invade if we do not arm ourselves to the teeth with the latest technology like sinkable submarines, fighter jets and littoral combat ships.
Tightening our belts will also reduce obesity and diabetes so that Malaysians will stay leaner and healthier. So everyone should look forward to the price hikes with optimism and zest and console ourselves that it will bring Malaysians many benefits like the higher BR1M.
Just like the Malaysian slogan, there are “endless possibilities” for us to adjust and survive the price hike without feeling the pinch.
Recent polls by the Merdeka Centre has shown that Prime Minister Najib’s popularity has risen to 52%, which means that 52% of Malaysians support the popular price hikes against those disloyal simpletons who rejected it.
Isn’t it true that those who do not pay enough taxes to the government are not loyal to the country?
Actually, what is the point of reducing car taxes when everyone can afford to buy a new car?
Besides toll hikes would reduce traffic congestion as those who cannot afford to pay toll will have to use other roads, a win-win situation for everyone.
Now the opposition wants to organise rallies to protest the price hikes which will be futile. Besides being bombarded with water cannons and smoke bombs in another lockdown, why not just accept the fact and live with it?
Bersih rally 4 will also be pointless, as even after three rallies, BN still came through with a convincing win.
Instant remedies against the price hikes
To combat the inevitable price hikes, Malaysians can do their bit to reduce the pain and suffering by adhering to some time tested and effective remedies namely:
Cut water consumption by flushing our toilet once a day and brush our teeth once every two days instead of twice a day. Not only will there be instant cost saving on the Colgate, but our teeth will wear out much slower due to the frequent brushing.
Stop using air conditioning and open all our doors and windows so that fresh air can flow through the apartment while sleeping.
To save petrol we can switch off the car air-conditioning unit as well or make lesser trips back to our hometown.
Use alternate roads to enjoy the scenery instead of zipping down the highway like a mad man can save a lot on toll charges and AES compound fines.
Cut our food intake by 50% to enjoy instant savings.
Get a maid for the kids so that your spouse can join the job market.
To prevent paying high assessment rates, sell of the property pronto and rent a place instead.
Stop taking family vacations and holiday’s altogether and we will be able to afford paying the GST.
And stop using credit cards and handphones and go back to landlines instead. Take a second job as an Amway distributor, insurance or timeshare salesman for the extra income.
But whatever we do, stop blaming the government as according to Perkasa, the BN government has every right to increase prices for the good of our nation.
Tour consultant, sports pilot and naturalist Iskandar Dzulkarnain has been writing for several years now. He is a FMT columnist who loves writing satirical articles.